Feeling good - Continues...

In my last post I mentioned I’ve found the path to find the real myself… Even u can know the secret… It’s a universal four letter word… which we speak, listen, sing, live, dance all our lives…

                                                            So Simple “ LOVE ”.

I thought it’s going to be so easy for me to travel in this love path… But there is a clause added to this which is called “UNCONDITIONAL LOVE “.

Now it’s becoming bit tough for me to follow…

What is unconditional means?

No expectations from the person whom u love and No judgement on the person whom u love…

I don’t remember when I last loved somebody unconditionally…

I’ve loved my parents always but if they don’t get me what I want or scold me sometimes, I shout at them back … So the first point is failed here… I’ve always expected something from them…

Again, I love my husband more than anything in this world… But if he fails to take me for a movie I wanted, I’ll fight with him for hours… So again I’m expecting things from him also…

I don’t have a baby now… so I can’t comment on the mother, child relationship…

I love my friends a lot but the same expectations have made me lose some of them…

I think this can be the close circle on which I can at least show my real love…

But they are not always “UN CONDITIONAL “.

Next comes the outside world, I’ve always made judgements on them based on my past experiences or knowledge I’ve gained through this physical world…

So I don’t even think I love them all…

What next?

I’ve not even taken a foot step towards my soul journey… :(

After reading that book I consciously started loving (Unconditionally) my family first…

But it was not easy… I can just do that for a second, may be a minute…

And suddenly I’ll again come back to the same old starting point…  

But I’m trying that again and again and one day I’ll surely enjoy that moment of real love in my life time.

If we understand this simple concept “UN CONDITIONAL LOVE “,

We can love everybody in this world without fear.

No war, No rage, No jealousy, Nobody is bad, No body is sinner, No body is poor , no need to feel pity for any body….  

I’ve been taught since my school days “ GOD IS LOVE “ and “ LOVE IS GOD “.

And now I understand the real meaning!!!!

Feeling good

 I'm experiencing a new phase in my life which cannot be expressed verbally and at the same time i wanted to register somewhere what i feel inside ... When somebody falls in love for the first time they can't keep to themselves, they would feel like expressing that pleasure or enjoyment to thier friends.... I'm in the same state of mind...

A month back i was completely stressed , felt worthless, depressed and all negative feelings u can name in any language... Only at that time i started my first post " Unanswered questions ". It was not just meant for rhyming words or some kind of trying a new poem.... That was my set of questions which i can't expect anybody to answer but god... after that i just again came back to normal life as i can't dwell upon that and make others feel miserable...

A week before I was feeling bored and wanted to read some book for time pass... When i was cleaning my husband's shelf i got this one named " Conversations with GOD "... I've already once tried to read it a year back when i got married...But i felt nothing interesting in it... To put it in correct way i didn't understand anything from it... I thought at that time it's just another motivational book giving bulk of advises...

But this time i didn't had any other choice than reading that  i was so bored... to my surprise i was able to relate myself in the author's shoes and felt like Some higher source is literally answering all my problems...
But some concepts were too high for me to understand ,  i couldn't leave it that way as i believed i'm being communicated by " GOD "... My husband is very much interested in all these and when i asked him he explained me so clearly...

I started understanding slowly and i relished reading every word of that book... The meaning it conveyed me made me feel top of the world... and it showed me who i am and what i'm supposed to do in my life... i got the answer for a big question everyone is running behind... But i have a long way ahead to experience the real
" WHO I AM ".... but still i've found the path and i'm consciously trying to re align myself in that path... some times it's exhausting but i want to explore and experience this new phase ... I feel like a game with the universe... and i like playing it...

In just 3 days time, i'm attracting lot of positive things and i'm flying in air.... I can't express that " Grandest feeling "... U may wonder i've not given a single quote from that book or explained what it actually says for me to feel this much...

This post is not a book review... If u r in the right moment of ur life, u would surely read that book and experience what i feel... I would love to thank my husband who is like my mentor in this journey...
What else to say when our soul mate is helping in our soul's search...

Thanks to universe for showing me the path I am  meant to travel !!!!!!

Waiting for u

Never longed for anything like this

I feel empty still having everything

Dreaming day and night

without knowing a hint about u

Days and months are passing by

No tears to shed and my eyes are dry

U r beyond my control
I'm existing without soul

Just waiting to hold ur hands
and make u lie on my shoulders
Prayers are my only left out option
To thrash my real pain

 U r somewhere in this universe
No idea when U'll be mine 
Don't make me wait for a long time
Desperately waiting for u...;-(

My unborn baby!!!!

Dining in Hyatt

How about a dinner in five star hotel with your hubby?? Doesn't it sound great?

But it really wasn't for me... Actually it's his company's arrangement with his colleagues.I fussed initially to join him as i had a bad cold and not interested much. Sometimes i like to avoid people and want to be in my own world. I told reasons for not coming.. after two day's argument somehow he convinced me to come...

First, great confusion in what to wear.. at last decided to wear cotton kurta and a jean..

We reached there after an hour drive... Usually i roam out a lot before my marriage.. but now it's reduced a lot.. and nowadays i lost interest in going out..

To my surprise , i was literally feeling nervous to meet new people and mingle with them... I was like a school student appearing for public exam..


I self pitied myself for being like this as i like to speak with new people and mingles easily with my age group a year back... But situation and circumstances has really changed my real personality... It's a shock to me...


Let me continue with the dinner part...  It was my first time to enter a five star hotel... It was obviously Porsche but i was not able to enjoy that... my husband introduced me to his colleagues...  as usual a formal smile,, formal talk with his boss's wife...


It was a buffet dinner and they had all varieties in starters, soup, main course, chat items, desserts... I felt like an alien in a new world... i was uncomfortable with this kind of official get together.. I didn't enjoy the food as well.. Every thing was so formal and artificial... and i can't expect it to be informal for obvious reasons...


Still my heart didn't fit that place.. I was just trying to find out what's the meaning of the wall murals they had... Nobody was there to share my interest... and i also had some silly questions to ask but i didn't...
i was busy acting like a matured girl in front of others...I was just waiting to leave that place...


Good food, excellent atmosphere, hi-fie people, actually i should have enjoyed all these... but still I'm the same girl who belong to a small town...


I think when we grow in society we need some acting skills that is so called "ETIQUETTE"...


I prefer a dinner with my husband in a simple dhaba chatting silly things, being myself or eating in a road side hotel with my friends behaving local :-) 

Cooking - An art and meditation

My cooking interest started only a year back.. after my marriage. Like every girl I wanted to impress my husband  and my in-laws through my cooking...

Initially I knew only basic recipes for lunch and not too good in making breakfast..

My first recipe was Rava upma and it was a super-duper flop... but my in-laws really didn't complain anything about that... they are always encouraging...

I just started watching all cookery shows, lot of recipe books and got cooking tips from my family too...

And slowly I understood the small nuances in cooking.

When I started experimenting new recipes someone has to be there to give feedback... and my sister-in-law is always there to give an honest comment on my recipes...

As for me cooking is an art and you need real passion to learn it... I'll also call it a meditation as it needs complete attention and concentration... All your senses need to be in place to make a good recipe...

I really forget all my tension and worries for the two hours I cook...And if I'm too disturbed I would better stay away from kitchen....

Some of us take cooking for granted as there is no supervisor or no appraisal is going to be done on it... and obviously we feel we don't get any monetary benefit out of it...

But I find lot of improvement areas every day when i finish cooking... It's a big ocean and I would say I've just got a drop out of it...

Continuous updation of recipes is must as I myself get bored with the usual sambar and rasam...

I would post all the recipes which I knew and it may help the beginners in cooking...

Happy cooking:-)

Unanswered questions

Often asked questions in my heart…

Ended up always without an answer…

Where did I come from?

Why did I come here?

What am I doing?

Where I am heading towards?

What will I end up with?

How did I get these people around me?

Why do I think some of them close?

And want to go away from many…

Why do I laugh and cry?

Will I live without any worry?

What is my search in life for?

Knowledge… Money… Love… status…

When will I get the real peace?

Will I ever feel real contentment in life?

Do I have a real meaning for my life?

Will I find that before my life ends?

If I find will I serve my purpose?

Can someone answer these simple questions…

Hmm… wait… one more question…

WHO AM I????